Like many of you, during this time of Covid, I’ve experienced shifts in some of my relationships. Because I’ve had more time, there’s been more phone calls and Zoom chats with my parents. The relationship with my church family has admittedly cooled during these many weeks separated from my Sisters in faith. The relationship with my adult children has been less stable – it’s an enormous source of joy one week, then a source of pain the next.

My connection with my husband, Rey, has been constant. Solid. Steady. Almost as if it were on cruise control. Set it and forget it.

After weathering the road construction and storms that almost 24 years of marriage presents, it’s easy to settle into “cruise control” with your spouse when things are going smoothly. This is a long ride, after all… not just a quick zip to the corner store. We slip into a comfortable routine – he wakes me up each morning with a gentle nudge and sends a text at some point during the day. Sweet. Simple. Semi-automatic. 

It wasn’t like this when we first met and later started dating… I was interested in everything he had to say, and listened attentively to each word he said. We planned and eagerly anticipated quality time together. I looked forward to spending time with him – and he with me. 

Over the years, however things have naturally transitioned from “high heat” to a “gentle simmer.” We rarely plan special events because we spend almost every afternoon and evening together (especially during these Covid-days!). I know he’s here. He loves me (and I him)… but if I were honest, I take him for granted. 

The problem with taking someone for granted is what happens next… we start to notice little things that irritate us.

“why does he turn up the volume so high on the television?”

“why does he interrupt me all the time?”

And just like that… the devil has a foothold in dividing our home.  In Matthew 12:25, Jesus warns “And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” 

How quickly taking your spouse for granted turns to opposition and division!

Whether you are newly married or celebrating 50 years of wedded bliss, I challenge you to do one thing in response to your spouse that you may have done in your early days of dating – listen actively, cook a special dinner, smile more.

And if you’re daring, kick things up a notch and share your inspiration in the comments below. I dare you!