How to Keep Your Husband’s Attention


I like to talk.  To be honest… I love to talk.

As a professor, I present information.

As a mother, I influence my kids.

As a friend, I hash out ideas and problems.

But, as a wife, I ration my words.

Talking is not Rey’s favorite way to spend a morning. Or an afternoon, or evening.

He doesn’t like to talk on the phone. When he answers, the greeting is gruff, the words are short, and the pleasant banter is sparse.

So, I am generally conscious of the number of words I speak.

But every now and then, I catch myself projecting an endless stream of words and ideas I can’t seem to stop. In fact, I caught myself in one this week!

Sometimes I can’t help myself.

It’s with him that I want to babble endlessly, “look at me.” listen to this.” “what do you think?” “please affirm me.” and “want to hear my dream?”

That’s been my condition for the past few days.

The wise in heart accept commands,
    but a chattering fool comes to ruin.

Proverbs 10:8

This morning, Rey didn’t respond when I said something. He just stared ahead; flipping the French toast.

Clearly he hadn’t processed the nugget of wisdom I’d just revealed. His mind was somewhere else; probably processing weighty ideas, or solving the economic crisis… or perhaps just thinking about French toast.

In either case, I took the unintentional hint and shut my mouth.

I didn’t try to change the subject to something more attention-grabbing.

I just stopped talking. I took another sip of coffee and paused to admire the beauty of my hubby making breakfast on a Saturday morning.

Over the next couple of days, I will have to make a conscious effort to curb my desire to verbalize every conscious thought. I will share some of those extra ideas with some of my girlfriends for a while. Perhaps I’ll go for coffee, send a text, make a call, or write a new book to satisfy this overstimulated desire to express myself.


Set a guard over my mouth, Lord;
    keep watch over the door of my lips.

Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

I will evaluate my words before I speak them:

  • Is this critical information that needs to be conveyed to my husband?
  • Does this idea need to be shared right now?
  • Is there another way to feel connected to this man in my kitchen?

What would happen if you tried that, right now? Share your experiences below in the comments section.

Dare you,


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