We’ve been exploring the painful condition of codependency for several weeks. I received so many messages from wives who need a little more encouragement in this area, I wanted to share once more.

First – remember that you did not choose to be a codependent; it was a behavior learned in childhood.

Second – identifying with some of the characteristics of a codependent is the first step toward healing from this destructive pattern of behavior.

Third – it is your responsibility to address this disease / addiction of codependency.

Fourth – left unchecked it will grow and potentially damage every one of your relationships.

First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:5 (NIV)

Probably the most eye-opening tool I picked up on my journey of recovery from codependency was the full version of the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen. 

~Reinhold Neibuhr~

This full version carries significant meaning for the recovering codependent.

“Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.”

Whoa!  Jesus… the Son of God, who was perfect, took this sinful world as it was. He didn’t run all over Jerusalem telling his disciples to stand up straight, or the 5,000 to plan ahead and pack their own lunches next time.

Jesus took this sinful world as it was. He could have destroyed it. Or he could have fixed everything. But He didn’t.

If Jesus could accept us for who/what we are (imperfect sinners), then shouldn’t I be able to accept things that don’t meet my expectations?

“Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.”

Do I really think I can accomplish anything better than God… especially if it’s something that is completely out of my control (like my hubby, kids, my neighbors, etc.)?

“That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.” 

Wow! I’m only supposed to be reasonably happy in this temporary life in this broken
world.  I should probably stop chasing after supreme happiness, because it’s coming and it will last forever once I’m in Heaven with Abba Father,

Wfew!  That’s a huge load off my shoulders.

What about you?  Which part of the serenity prayer sparked some new thinking? I’d love it if you shared your thoughts!

Dare you,

Tammy~