What to Do When Your Husband is Mean


You’re riding along the path of wedded bliss and out of nowhere – WHAM – you get broadsided by an unwelcome or hurtful comment from your husband.

Maybe it was a criticism or an accusation.

He might have ridiculed you about a mistake you’d made in the past.

Perhaps he portrayed you in an unflattering light.

Ugh. Ouch.

We’ve all been there, in one way or another. Your husband says something that just seems mean.

So, what do you do when you find yourself at the receiving end of undeserved verbal javelins coming from your spouse?

The immediate natural reaction is to throw a zinger right back in his face.

Yup – that felt really good… for about 1.3 seconds – the time it takes for him to send another one sailing right back at you.

Then you reciprocate with a clever, biting response that puts him in his place.

Soon ugly words are ricocheting back and forth so quickly they overlap and entangle with each other.

And now your husband is the enemy.

You’re right where Satan wants you.

That’s the last place we want to be… no matter WHAT your husband said.

pray-2558490_1920 So, what’s a Godly wife to do?

Take a pause.

And then another pause.

And hold your words for another moment.

Review your words and consider whose glory they will represent – God’s glory? Or Satan’s?

While you’re holding your tongue, ask God for wisdom. Ask Him to give you the ability to ignore the tempting angry words that are dangling on a hook – baiting you down a sinful path.

Often, silence is the best verbal response to your husband when he says something he shouldn’t have.

At least in the moment.

There may be a better time to express your displeasure. Perhaps later when he is less stressed, or tomorrow after his workout.

There are some marriages, however when there is no “better time” to discuss negative comments or behaviors. There are marriages that are in a downward spiral of hurt feelings, mean comments and unloving actions. It may seem like there is no hope for turning things around.

If you are in one of these marriages that seem to be doomed, take heart.

There is no situation that is so dead that God cannot resurrect it.

Our God is a mighty God and capable of all things – even the seemingly impossible. Our Lord resurrected Lazarus from the dead, and Jesus rose from the dead.

Breathing life back into your marriage is minor in comparison.

Pray hard, follow God’s instruction, and trust that He alone can change a hardened heart.

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

Romans 12:12

When we battle our husbands, we lose.

When we are able to respond in a way that brings God the glory, we win.

The next time you’re about launch a rocket back in your husband’s direction, PAUSE and consider.

I dare you!


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